I haven't cried yet. I don't plan to cry…

He tried hard to hold back tears, but his eyes were glistening. After undergoing multiple surgeries, rehabilitation, and fighting through pain recurrence, Kim Jong-soo, a pitcher for the professional baseball team Hanwha Eagles, secured his first victory in 1,005 days. He experienced a moment of joy after enduring through despair without giving up.

Kim Jong-soo came in relief as the third pitcher with one out in the 7th inning during the KIA game in Daejeon on the 29th of last month, pitching 1⅔ innings without allowing a hit until the end of the 8th inning. He issued two walks but managed to handle all subsequent batters with double plays. Following an attack in the bottom of the 8th inning, Hanwha overturned the game with a two-run timely hit from Ahn Chi-hong, winning 5-4, giving Kim Jong-soo the relief win.

It was a victory that came after 1,005 days since the match against SSG in Daejeon on June 28, 2002. During that time, Kim Jong-soo underwent surgery to remove bone fragments from his elbow and underwent a long rehabilitation process. After disappearing from the first team at the end of the exhibition games in March 2023, Kim Jong-soo spent a dark year and three months until he stepped onto the Futures League mound in June last year.

While the removal of bone fragments is regarded as a minor surgery compared to ligament grafting, for Kim Jong-soo, who underwent four surgeries on his elbow including Tommy John surgery in 2014 and a second Tommy John surgery in 2017, it was not easy. Typically, rehabilitation takes about six months, but the recovery was hindered by several pain recurrences. It was such a challenging time that he even contemplated quitting baseball.

Regarding the win, Kim Jong-soo said, “It’s really meaningful. I endured tough times imagining these moments. The moments I have endured come to mind. I would like to thank Training Coach Kim Jae-min and many others who helped me,” while reddening his eyes. Though he tried hard to hold back tears, he couldn't hide the overwhelming feelings. He noted, “Like all professional sports athletes and people, the uncertainty of the future and the anxiety of thinking, 'Will I ever stand on the mound again?' were what troubled me the most. I can only throw, but the pain in my arm was truly difficult.”

Even when I thought about quitting baseball, I wanted to throw the ball hard at least once. I thought it would help alleviate any lingering regrets. That was the reason I attempted to transform into a sidearm pitcher last spring. He said, “I thought I needed to throw at least one game to convince myself before I decided to quit baseball. I believed that throwing from the side would allow me to throw harder, so I did that. I practiced throwing from the side for about two weeks.”

Could it be that the desperation conveyed my intentions? After lowering his arm to throw sidearm, the pain gradually diminished, and he felt no pain when raising his arm again. Kim Jong-soo remarked, “It’s quite strange. I had almost given up, but my arm gradually felt better, and as I began to have ambition, it started to rise again. I was able to join the second team normally while pitching.”

Kim Jong-soo, who recorded 4 wins, 2 losses, 1 save, and 10 holds with an earned run average of 3.69 and 38 strikeouts over 30 games (31⅔ innings) in the Futures League, received a call-up to the first team during last month's exhibition games and pitched in two games. Although he did not make the opening roster, he gained experience on the first team mound after two years, and since being called up on the 25th of last month, he has been utilized in relief roles. He has shown stability, pitching 3 innings without allowing a run in 3 games. Hanwha Manager Kim Kyung-moon expressed hope, saying, “He is a pitcher who has thrown in important situations a lot in the past. We cannot disregard his career. I think he will be utilized when the score difference isn’t too wide.”

Kim Jong-soo stated, “It helped that I pitched in the first team during the exhibition games. I’ve been with the team for a long time, but I can’t say I have a lot of first-team experience, so adapting to the first-team atmosphere after a long time in the exhibition games became a good opportunity. Though the results were good, the process was not a good pitching performance. I believe I was aided by heaven as we got two double plays.”

However, it is said that heaven helps those who help themselves. Kim Jong-soo remarked, “I’m glad that I didn’t give up. I remind myself that life does not prescribe how to die. I believe that even in the worst situations, I can overcome them. I will continue to live that way moving forward.”

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