The 'original idol' H.O.T. Tony An has repeatedly expressed his feelings of depression, causing concern among fans.

Tony An will make his return to SBS's 'My Little Old Boy' on the 23rd, for the first time in three years. The mothers in the studio warmly welcomed 47-year-old Tony An as they exclaimed, 'It's been a really long time.' Moreover, when the tidy home scenery, which is a stark contrast to the 'male house' where he previously lived with dust and mold, was revealed, Tony's mother could not hide her surprise at the clean state of her son's home.

However, the conversation was heavy. Tony An, who ended a long cohabitation with Kim Jae-deok and became independent for the first time in 17 years, confessed that he experienced severe depression and was in a dangerous situation. He revealed that not only was his pillow soaked with blood, but he was also found with a shaved head, shocking everyone. Viewers are already showing great interest in the circumstances surrounding Tony An's reappearance after three years.

It is understandable that Tony An often opened up about his mental distress on the show. In 2017, while participating in SBS Plus and Channel S's entertainment program 'Love Doctor' Season 2, he stated, 'I have four stepmothers. My parents divorced when I was young, which caused me to wander. I was worried about whether I had my father's DNA. In my twenties, I felt a great emptiness and received treatment for over four years.'

At that time, he also shared, 'I am still going to the hospital and taking medication. The reason I started a business was that I wanted to be recognized as An Seung-ho, not H.O.T. Tony An. I succeeded, but I felt empty. The doctors said it was so serious that I couldn't go to the military, but I felt happiness in everyday life for the first time when I went to the military, and my values changed from then on.'

Last November, he also expressed his depression, surprising many. In a video posted on the YouTube channel 'CBS Freshly Revived,' Tony An said, 'I hit the jackpot with my school uniform and entertainment business, earning unimaginable amounts of money, and everything was perfect. I succeeded as a singer and also as a businessman, so I thought, 'Now I will be recognized,' but that was when my life started to fall apart.'

However, he noted, 'The headaches did not go away. Someone said, 'It would be good to see a psychiatrist,' so I went to the psychiatric clinic.' He added, 'I was prescribed a lot of medication for depression, bipolar disorder, and social anxiety disorder, and after taking the medication, the headaches disappeared. But I became very powerless. I didn’t want to do anything. Money was bothersome, eating was bothersome, and life itself felt bothersome,' recalling a difficult time.

Especially, he revealed, 'Even though I worked afterwards, as I blankly passed the time, I found it hard to think positively. I kept having negative thoughts. I wondered, 'What is the meaning of this life?' That led me to think about death. Back then, I lived on a higher floor, and I often imagined going out to the balcony and looking down.' This remark shocked many.

Tony An even confessed that when he won first place on music shows with his solo song 'Yuchupurakachia' in 2006, he suffered from extreme depression for two years while working on the album. During that time, he even collapsed from overwork, exhaustion, and lack of sleep, requiring emergency transport to the hospital.

Tony An has been in a constant battle with himself for nearly 20 years. His repeated confessions of depression on the show are raising concern among fans, who are worried that this is a cry for help.